I Cannot Persevere

I mean who really can, right? It has everything to do growing up and maturing, but I downright cannot make it through the initial running out the gate. I have every intention to go for it. Heck, I might even have a plan, but I can't seem to keep that momentum going.

I recently witnessed the fruit of perseverance. A friend of mine purchased a car, and not just any car. My friend is a pretty serious car connoisseur. She grew up on a certain make and knew exactly what she wanted. After patiently waiting for the best deal, it arrived, and she was ready with cash in hand to seal the deal. Did you hear that folks? She paid CASH. She's been working hard and putting a little something away with the hope of her ideal set of wheels. I imagine she relentlessly scanned craigslist day after day only to see her hopes dashed by lack of listings or hopefuls taken by other pursuers. You can see it on her pretty face: the illumination of basking in the fruits of her labor.

I can't remember the last time I worked that hard for anything. Perhaps it's the season my life is in. I feel I'm at the mercy of my two greater-than-life kiddos and my couldn't-ask-for-more hubby. I live my life according to their needs, and because I don't tend to my own, as I should (heart, body, mind, soul), the rest of my time is soaked up by escapisms, be it be food or movies. Things that don't require work, only partaking.

The thing is I'm drowning, and it's not to say that I am in some sort of crisis. I understand it can be worse, but I mean when AM I going to grow up? When am I going to step up to the plate and really hit one out of the park, y'know? When am I going to bask in the fruit of MY labor? I'm hoping blogging about "growing up" might help me do so. Walk with me?

"Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." ~James 1:4